Episode #268: How To Get Through To Your People

Use this golden question

We know that every individual is unique, and despite all the conventional wisdom about how to motivate people, everyone is completely different in regard to what drives them.

In my experience, you never really know what’s going to switch the lights on for someone. You just have to keep trying, over and over, to reach every single person. This means you have to use different (sometimes novel) techniques, and varying levels of pressure. 

When you see a breakthrough, it’s priceless… it’s worth every moment you’ve spent, and every ounce of energy you’ve put into it. 

But you also have to be OK with putting in the time and energy and not achieving a breakthrough… because, unfortunately, that’s the more common outcome!

This episode begins unconventionally, with a story from the hit TV series, Breaking Bad. I then recount one of the early wins in my career, when I was able to get through to someone. And I finish with 5 practical tips for reaching your people, which you can download for free below!


 

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HOW TO GET THROUGH TO YOUR PEOPLE

EPISODE #268 TRANSCRIPT

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is probably the first leadership podcast ever to produce an episode based on the TV series, Breaking Bad… but more on this shortly.

This episode is about learning how to adopt the approaches that the very best leaders use to get through to their people and inspire them to do more. In an episode a few weeks ago (Ep.265: Leadership’s Most Underrated Ingredient), I spoke about the most underrated leadership ingredient: a deep sense of caring. This one is an extension of that.

If you're not intrigued yet, please just take a minute or two to check your pulse to make sure you're still alive. I just said that I'm going to parlay an episode of Breaking Bad, with a deep sense of caring that the very best leaders have for their people.

We know that every individual is unique, and despite all the conventional wisdom about how to motivate people, everyone is completely different in regard to what drives them.

In my experience, you never really know what's going to switch the lights on for someone. You just have to keep trying, over and over, to reach every single person. This means you have to use different (sometimes novel) techniques, and varying levels of applied pressure.

When you see a breakthrough, it is absolutely priceless. It's worth every moment you've spent, and every ounce of energy you've put into it. But you also have to be okay with putting in the time and energy and not achieving a breakthrough because, unfortunately, that’s the more common outcome.

I begin today's episode with the scene from Breaking Bad that inspired me to address this particular topic. I'll then tell a story from my own career where an individual completely surprised me by turning around his performance, when I'd already written him off as a lost cause. And I'll finish by revealing five practical techniques that you can use to reach deep into people's intrinsic motivation..

BUILD THE BROADEST PERSPECTIVE POSSIBLE

You're going to learn some things about me today and, as always, I'm happy to put myself out there if I think it might help you to become a better leader.

The first thing to know about me is that my all-time favorite TV series is Breaking Bad. It was originally released in 2008 and ran for five consecutive seasons. I watched Breaking Bad when it was first released, and again fairly recently. This reconfirmed, in my mind at least, that it's the best television series ever made. With all the money that's been poured into shows like Game of Thrones, Westworld and Yellowstone, nothing holds a candle to Breaking Bad.

Don't get me wrong. It's very difficult to watch in parts. It's always dark, often brutal, and occasionally hilarious, but it gets to the nub of what drives us—both the dark and light sides of our nature, wrapped up in human imperfection. Ted Lasso, it ain't!

When I spend time reading or watching anything, I like to push myself out of my comfort zone and have my views and beliefs challenged. The best of these experiences leave me saying to myself, "That was awesome! But I'm not sure I liked it. I don't know how comfortable I am with that.”

What I do know is that, when I'm confronted with the harsh realities of life, I'm less likely to become overly warm and complacent sitting in my own little bubble. So it is with Breaking Bad. Just to give you enough context to understand the story in case you haven't seen it, and without spoiling it if you intend to watch it in the future, the plot line goes something like this:

Walter White is an underachieving genius who works as a high school chemistry teacher in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He has a wife, a teenage son with cerebral palsy, and a baby daughter on the way. He also has a brother-in-law who's a senior field agent for the Drug Enforcement Agency, fighting the war against the import of illegal drugs across the southern US borders.

When Walt is diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer, he realizes that, not only can't he afford the life-saving treatment he needs, but he also has nothing to leave his family to support them after he's gone. So he teams up with an ex-student of his, a burner druggie named Jesse Pinkman, and they start cooking methamphetamine.

Because of his rare genius and perfectionistic tendencies (which I'm not going to go into in this episode), Walt cooks the purest form of the drug ever seen on the market—so demand is high. With Jesse handling the distribution and Walt handling the chemistry, their drug empire is off and running. So you can see what I mean when I say this is really dark!

IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

Okay, that's enough preamble to set the scene. As the series goes on, Jesse joins a Narcotics Anonymous group to try to overcome his own addiction and turn his life around. At one point, the facilitator asks Jesse what he really loves doing. If he wasn't spending his time in a drug-fueled haze, what would he really like to do? Who would he like to be?

It turns out that Jesse used to be good at making things, and here's what he said to the group (I'm going to quote this pretty much exactly):

"At school, I had this one teacher, Mr. Pike. He was, like, a Marine or something before he got old.

My project for his class was to make a wooden box. I wanted to get done as quickly as possible so I could cut classes for the rest of the semester, and he couldn't flunk me, as long as I made the thing.

So, I finished it in a couple of days and it looked pretty lame. But it worked, you know, for putting stuff in. So, when I showed it to Mr. Pike for my grade, he looked at it and said, 'Is that the best you can do?'

At first, I thought to myself, 'Hell yeah, now give me a D and shut up so I can go and blaze one with my boys.'

I don't know… Maybe it was the way he said it. He wasn't exactly saying it sucked, but he was asking me, honestly, 'Is that all you got?'. And for some reason I thought to myself, 'Yeah, man, I can do better.'

So, I started from scratch. I made another, then another. And by the end of the semester, by about box number five, I had built this… thing. You should’ve seen it. It was insane. I built it out of Peruvian walnut with inlaid zebra wood. It was fitted with pegs—no screws. I sanded it for days until it was smooth as glass. Then, I rubbed all the wood with tung oil, so it was rich and dark. It even smelled good. You put your nose in it and breathed in. It was perfect!"

Now, imagine that Jesse's whole world was altered by one simple question from someone who asked it in the right way, at the right time: "Is that the best you can do?" And even when recounting the story years later, after all he'd been through, his ability to visualize it, and the associated pride and passion were palpable.

As leaders, we only have a few rare moments where we can really influence our people in this kind of way. We can't change anyone's fundamental nature, but if we continually try to get through to them by asking questions, challenging them, and trying to tap into their sense of professionalism, their motivation, their pride… occasionally, something works. It's as much art as it is science, but it's what the best leaders do.

WHAT IF YOU CHOSE TO TRUST SOMEONE?

I reckon I could stop writing there, but I want to cap this off with something a little more practical for you to take to your team and, dare I say it, beyond your professional life: to your relationships, your children, your communities. Remember, the principle of operation here is: you never know when you'll be surprised, so never stop trying.

As I outlined in Ep.265, this is pretty hard to do unless you have a deep sense of caring for your people.

I remember clearly experiencing my own ‘Jesse Pinkman moment’ many years ago, as a mid-level leader. I'd been brought into a company as a contract project manager to rescue a large IT system implementation that had gone south (even back in those days, I was specializing in turnaround!).

The project was way over budget, and the system's integration partner was too deeply entrenched to be removed. They'd managed to dig themselves into a position where, to remove them and start again would've been even riskier and more costly than pushing forward with them. But trust was extremely low, and there was a lot of baggage between the two companies.

Fortunately, I was able to come in with a fresh set of eyes. My counterpart from the external consulting firm (let's call him Mike) was in survival mode. Mike knew that his job was on the line, and he expected that my instinct would be to replace him immediately, no questions asked. To be fair, that was my first instinct.

Mike had presided over a monumental failure. The signs were there for a long time, but no one wanted to be the bearer of bad news. If Mike had even a modicum of courage, he would've raised the problems, and intervention would've come much sooner. The project would've been in much better shape, and it would've been much easier to recover. Instead, his negligence allowed it to hit rock bottom, and the key stakeholders had completely lost confidence.

As I thought through all the moves I needed to make, I found myself in a little quandary with Mike. I checked out his resume—there was no LinkedIn back in those days—and asked around about his performance and behavior. Mike was a little bit older than me, and he had an impressive track record in previous projects, which he'd run for multiple blue-chip clients.

Although I'd originally written him off (after all, the people who built the house can't renovate it), something inside me just said that it would be a mistake to cut him loose right now. This was very unlike me, and I wondered if I was just feeling sorry for him. I justified my decision by telling myself that it was important to keep him for a few months as I unpicked the chequered history of the project, and tried to right the ship.

I knew, even then, it was just a rationalization.

But instead of sacking him, I called Mike in and I said:

"I don't know what went so drastically wrong, or why you decided to cover up the mess once it did. What I do know is that you have incredible skill and capability, and your track record prior to this looks really solid. I have no idea what you're going to choose to do in the coming months, Mike, but I'll tell you what I'm going to choose: I'm going to choose to trust you. I want to see if I can work with you, and I want to see if you can be part of the solution to this debacle."

What happened after that really surprised me. Because I’d told Mike that I was choosing to trust him, he started to behave like someone I could trust. The project was still a total mess, but it was a mess that was made much better by having Mike on board with a new attitude and approach… and all because I said those magic seven words, "I'm going to choose to trust you."

If you'd asked me beforehand, I would've said there was maybe a 10% chance, at most, that Mike would make it. But I guess you never know when someone's going to surprise you.

FIVE PRACTICAL TECHNIQUES FOR GETTING THROUGH TO YOUR PEOPLE

Okay, let's get super practical. I want to finish with a quick laundry list of five practical techniques that I've used in the past to tap into people's intrinsic motivation. Just remember, you can't do it for them. All you can do is continue to ask the best questions, and make the best statements to try to get through to people. When you do this at that magic, unpredictable moment in time, something's going to stick. You just never know when that's going to be.

1. Demonstrate belief and trust.

Let people know that you believe in their ability to do what they're being asked to do. Use statements like,

  • "I wouldn't have assigned you to this unless I had confidence in your ability to deliver it." or,

  • "I don't need to be involved in this at the operational level. I trust that you'll come to me if you need my input."

If your people feel your belief and trust, many will do their best to live up to it.

2. Give your people accountability.

The weight of accountability is a surprising motivator for people. It forces them to be adult—to take real ownership of tasks, decisions, and problems. Of course, accountability and empowerment travel together. You can't have one without the other. So, you can use statements like this:

  • "I'm going to back every decision you make, because you’re accountable for this. I don't want to dilute your accountability. I want to strengthen and protect it."

And you can ask questions like:

  • "What else do you need from me to clear the path for you to deliver this successfully?"

3. Express the value of team

A great motivator that brings out many people's best effort is team reliance. When someone knows that the team is counting on them, and that their input is critical to its overall success, they're way more likely to find something extra from within. You can use statements like:

  • "We can't do this without you." or,

  • "The team's really counting on you for this." or,

  • "You're a key part of this team, and we can't be successful unless you are successful."

4. Highlight accelerated career growth and market value.

When the greater good doesn't appeal to someone, often you can tap into the universal motivator: self-interest.

This is the principle that by going above and beyond, they'll gain experience and skills that will make them incredibly valuable in the market. So, the types of statements that are going to tap into this are:

  • "If you can get this done, it'll set you up for whatever you want to do next. The world will be your oyster." or,

  • "The skills and experience you're going to get from this are going to make you incredibly valuable in the market." Or, for leaders like me who have a few more miles on the clock,

  • "I only wish I had the opportunity to build my resume like this at your age."

5. Appeal to their professional pride

This is Mr. Pike to Jesse Pinkman: "Is that the best you can do?"

Here's the thing. If he'd said that with a slightly different tone… if he'd said it a week earlier, or a week later… if he'd coined it as a statement instead of a question? Jesse may well have stuck with his first instinct, which was to say, "Hell yeah! Now give me a ‘D’ and shut up so I can go and blaze one with my boys."

YOU CAN STILL GET RESULTS, BUT…

As leaders, it can be incredibly frustrating to see people ambling along with little motivation or energy. You might ask yourself from time to time, "What on earth do I have to do to get through to this person?" And while you can't take responsibility for other people's choices, there's always going to be another angle you can try to tap into their intrinsic motivation—to strike a deep chord within them that changes the way they view the world.

For sure, you can get awesome results without doing this:

  • If you hire the right people

  • If you set high standards for behavior and performance

  • If you challenge, coach, and confront with strength and empathy

  • If you focus on value rather than activity

  • If you create momentum with smart, timely decisions

  • If you set clear accountabilities, and paint people the vision that connects them to the purpose and strategy of the company.

When you lead for performance, some people are going to be left behind. But when they are, you want to know in your heart of hearts that it's because they chose not to come along, not because you didn't try everything you could have to bring them with you.


 

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